“Grab your shoes!” “Here’s Riley’s socks mommy” “Thanks, Forrest you can’t wear crocs to school you have to pick sneakers or boots” “I can’t find my shoes!” “I saw Wally’s shoes outside on the playground” “Will you brush my hair Mommy?” “Yes, Wally go outside and get your shoes No! not in your socks! The grass is wet” “Can I get a snack for the ride?” “Yes, Lucy did you put sunscreen on? Has anyone seen Dorothy yet? Dorothy!” “She’s downstairs” “I want snack” “Dorothy!” “Got my shoes” “Can we have goldfish?” “Sure get some for your brother. DOROTHY!” “What?” “Okay everyone socks, shoes, backpacks, in the car go get buckled. Shoot where’s my coffee. Wait Wally put the dogs in their crates and turn the lights off. Okay everyone in the car let’s go!!!”
Are you exhausted yet? That was a glimpse of what it takes to get 5 kids out of the house on time. Many have been amazed at how I do it all every day. Get 5 kids off to school, work out, spend my day as a Soldier and still managing to have a little homestead. Here is a glimpse into my day.
Morning
Alarm goes off at 5AM. I shoot out of bed, get changed, feed the dogs, and I’m shaking up my preworkout as I stumble to the shop by 5:10. I usually throw on a quick, 20-30 minute workout (I’m a huge fan of Bodi for their variety of home workout programs” and shoot a text to the Army group chat saying I’m alive and coming to work that day. After a sweaty workout I snap a pic and switch back to my muck boots to stumble back outside.
In the mornings I typically only have to let my birds out. I grab an egg when I see it, but mostly I’m just opening their doors so they can have free reign in their pens. I head inside where my husband has started a load of laundry and packed lunches for the school aged kids. We are a team in the morning, and we each have our set roles to play.
I make my lunch and my breakfast shake. Empty/load the dishwasher and just putz around picking up. At 6:10 I’m hopping in the shower to rinse off, then getting my uniform on for the day.
Wake up and Get Out
By 6:30 I’m waking kids up. I run downstairs to wake the girls up and ensure Dorothy is actually dragging herself out of bed. Then back upstairs to tell the boys they can finally come out of their room. Forrest (age 2) has taken to sleeping in regular clothes and who am I to argue? I change his diaper and we are off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and hair. I send them out to the kitchen to get a snack for the ride and sneak into Riley’s room to get her up, dressed and ready for the day.
After several back and forths to make sure everyone has brushed their teeth, got their socks, shoes, lunches, backpacks etc, we are finally able to leave. We pile into the van and it’s off to the first daycare where I drop the school aged kids, then all the way to base to drop off the rest of my crew and swing into work right around 8AM.
Army Life
My work day is highly variable but often involves a lot of email so that’s always where I start. I typically have a list of tasks to accomplish from the day before and I add to it based on what emails came in that day. I’m the primary person for appointment scheduling so I add that to my work to do list as well.
Work is quite frankly, the calmest part of my day. Sure some days are busy but it never looks quite like getting 5 little kids out of the house on time. I’ll read a book on my lunch break, make all the school and doctor appointments I need to make, and still answer my emails.
At 4pm I’m checking out for the day and on to the hardest part of the day: The dinner and bedtime rush. I always head straight to the daycare on base to pick up my littles. As I pull out I’m dialing my blue-collar husband to see what time he will be off. Most days he’s just getting off and will swing by to get the school aged kids.
Second Shift
45 minutes later we are pulling into the driveway about the same time and the real work begins. Hopefully we had the forethought to write out what we would be eating each night this week and he’s already in the kitchen prepping dinner. I drop the babies and go change, the kids drop their back packs and lunch boxes and shoes like a nuclear blast zone went off in my laundry room. They scatter before we yell at them to pick it up. I emerge out of uniform with a baby on my hip, yell for kids to unpack their lunches, and then head out with a basket to do my chicken chores.
In the afternoons I gather eggs, check everyone’s food and water, and top off anyone who needs it. If I have a minute I’ll toss them mealworms and talk to them and just genuinely enjoy them until my mom guilt pulls me back inside.
At this point Travis has typically finished cooking and I start pouring milk and trying to round up the kids. After much chaos we all end up at the table to eat as a family. The rule is, they can’t start eating until everyone sits down. This gives the adults a chance to eat before jumping up to grab seconds for everyone.
We rely on routines. Everyone knows their role. When they walk in the door, the school aged kids get their homework done. I know I have to keep the baby occupied. Travis has to cook dinner. Knowing our roles helps keep the day running smoother and the fighting down.
Pre-Bedtime Rush
After dinner the kids leap up to check their chore charts while travis and I clean up. Trying to keep the three big kids on task and constantly reminding them to do their chores can be rough. For some reason everyone seems to get a big round of energy this time of night and they are all dancing, twirling, fighting and just pure chaos. I’ve narrowed their chores to three each in hopes that they might actually get it done, and that seems to be helping.
By 6:30 we are all cleaned up from dinner and rushing everyone off to the showers. In my house, there are not baths, just showers. They are faster and work better for us. My husband washes the little ones and sends them out to me to catch, dry, diaper and get into jammies. The big kids do themselves and then in a whirlwind later we are all gathered on the playroom couch. Well all except Travis and Riley. She drinks some warm milk while Travis watches the news upstairs.
Everyone else snuggles up on the playroom couch (with a little arguing of whose turn it is to sit next to Mommy and some reminders that it isn’t time to practice gymnastics it is time to read) and I’ll read a few chapters from whatever book we are on.
Sigh of Relief
Then it’s lots of repeating “Go to bed” over and over until everyone actually gets that hug or that last sip of water or reminds me that they need a bandaid and they all disappear to their rooms.
At 7:30 my husband and I sigh that sweet relief of another successful bedtime. We come together to have a moment of sharing about her day without the constant interruption, watch a show, chat about what’s coming tomorrow or say goodnight as we head off to our separate hobbies- him to his garden and me to read.
At dusk either Travis and I will go around and put the birds in their coops and lock the doors for the night. Most of them go in by themselves but there are some stubborn birds who need to be forced in every night.
By 9 pm I’m in my own jammies, curled up in bed, only making it about 8 pages on my kindle before I’m falling asleep.
Weekday Drag
My weekdays are very structured. Some days it feels like all I’m doing is rushing my children from one part of our day to the next. Some days it feels like the only thing I say to them is to “get your shoes on” “Get your chores done” “get in the shower” and “go to bed”. Dinner time and book time are my key connection times of the day. I try to be intentional and let the stress go and listen to them, joke with them, talk about our days with them.
It doesn’t always work. Sometimes the noise and the chaos just gets to me and I spend my dinner telling them to eat or sit up or stop kicking their sister. Sometimes I spend book time telling them to sit still, stop squirming, stop interrupting.
It isn’t always perfect but it goes as smoothly as we can make it. Everyone has a role to play and everyone knows their part. It’s the routines that carry us through from one day to the next. Without those, we would fall apart into chaos.
Do I wish I could spend more time with my kids actually enjoying them and not doing chores or rushing to the next thing? Of course. Absolutely. But that is the reality of our situation right now and we have to make the most of it.
So for now I’ll continue to remind myself every day to slow down, take a breath, and enjoy those moments in the routine where we all come together. I can connect with my kids while I drive them to school, tie their shoes, brush their hair and put sunscreen on their faces. I can connect with Travis washing dishes while he packs lunches. It doesn’t always have to be a big planned out thing. Opportunities for connection happen throughout the grind of daily living. The key is slowing down enough to notice them and take advantage of them.
